Wednesday, April 6, 2011

from the mouth of kids

     Over the years of my teaching "career"...though it has not been consistent by ANY means, It has been rewarding in so many ways. The most rewarding I have found is for them to tell you they love you. Not only does it melt your heart in an "aww so sweet" kind of way, but it also aches a little...maybe I was or am the only love that child has ever known, and that is terribly sad. Kids like this, well I will be honest, I just want to take them home, care for them, show the them love my parents show me, God shows me, and just make that extra impact on them in the way that there mothers should and sometimes don't. But then, I want to give them back :)!
     The other reason I find this job rewarding is that they make me LAUGH! I wonder if I was funny in kindergarten, ha? Anyways I could not help over the years to keep an unorganized journal aka sticky notes, torn off paper, more sticky notes, maybe a piece of a referral to the office form.... all bundled up in hopes of me actually doing something with it all one day. Well today is the first step, blogging them.     
     How cool would it be to write a book about my experience and interactions with kids, the things they say, how they make me laugh (sometimes I have to hide it), how many hats I've had to wear being a teacher (some of my kids probably think I'm equivalent to Dr. Oz, only if they knew...) and how to effectively love on some that don't know what love is. Maybe one day, but for now I'll stick to my blog and if I were really lucky mabye it'll be a first draft that I look back on and laugh. These are a few of my favorites from my unorganized kid journal, if you will. In no order. Please know I am not making fun of some of their totally butchered gramatical errors...but sometimes they are just so darn funny.

*(apparently I had too much bronzer on this day, go figure, white girl in the winter...) "Why you got dem sprinkles all ova ya face, you want to be a princess everyday?"

*How do you spell YMCA? "it... it .. it... starts with a Y, I promise I do, I went their yesterday I promise" (nobody was arguing with you go on with your smart brain!)

*(This was in a card one wrote to me during free writing, aka you can write anything you want) "Dear Ms. Todd I am sorry for talking?" (Why thank you for the apology, but was it heart felt or were you asking a question?)

*(another card) "Dear Ms. Tood, You are my favit techr how od are you?"

*(from a parent... don't get scared now) "Hello (boys name) teacher, I am sorry what happen at school thrusday but i ahve sat down and talked to him about it, and also took things away that he likes or like to do. And I hope that he is on his be behavior for the rest of the year, here ismy contact number if you need to get in touch with me, P.S. feel free to write back" (Ok, I might have to make a little fun of this one... YIKES! So, you took things away that he likes, good parenting start, props to ya. "Feel free to write back"... so were pen pals now, oh lord!)

*(from a parent) " Please excuse ____ he woke up with a nose bleed." (So did I in kindergarten tons of times especially in the Winter when the air was dry, next time hold tissue up to it for a good 10 minutes... then your good to go to school! No need to miss a whole day of ABC'S and 123's for a nose bleed :)

*(I was doing assessments, and one of my assessments I had to get them to build shapes with playdough, one child, when I wasn't looking took my playdough ball I had, and I noticed it when I went on to test another child) Me: "Excuse me but I just saw you put that playdough in your bookbag, perhaps that is mine?!" Child: He stared at me like, How'd she see that?!.... and when no words came out.... something else came out the other end. (always tell the truth boys and girls, rule #5 on our classroom rule list we created at the beginning of the year :)

*(I guess I had a bad hair day today) "Mits Todd, did you hear that storm last night, and did you get electrocuted or something?" (dang, busted by a 5 year old.... get your hair in check tomorrow am Ms. Todd)

*(Parent note) "_______ was out of school cause smashed his finger in the car door, and he also was running a fever to. But he should be god for today. Also can you write me to let me know ehn school is out fr Spring breck. And please excuse him for thursday." (.... is this the truth?)

*(This week was working on different kinds of transportation, I asked the kids to cut out of a magazine things they would bring in their suitcase I had made for them.) I looked at one child and said, "Why are all these girls in your suitcase? "Oh, becauseI'm bringing 10 women with me to meet Obama".... "Well how do you know they want to go with you?" .... "Cus look at dem, they raisin their hands" (were talking about pictures of women in magazines!) HILARIOUS.

*(this is me just overhearing a little girl) "ohhhh yeahhh ohhh yeah my momma put 5 mints in my pocket, ohhh yeah ohhh yeah"

*"Ms. Todd you need to go to da man store and get you a man."
Me: "Interesting, what is the man store?"
"Well you know you go dare to pick you a man out, dats why you go"
Me: (I always go along with the convos, you get more out of them that way, ha!) So, I just pick one out huh?
"Well if he blinks at you, he is yours, if not you walk away, but make sure you wear your lipstick, and he need to give you that ring you wearin already" (Target ring, ladies and gentlemen)
Me: "Interesting, how do you get there?"
(then he proceeds to give me ridiculous directions..... LORD HAVE MERCY!!!!!)

Hope you got a slight glimpse into my hilarious teaching life :) WHERE do they come up with these things?!